Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Flushing Baseball's Cheaters Out Of The Game.

Baseball's steroids scandal hit the front pages again this week with the revelation that Alex Rodriguez cheated his way to fame and fortune by taking performance-enhancing drugs. Rodriguez joins Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens in a triumvirate of superstar cheaters. News reports say there are 103 players who are known to have tested positive for steroids back in 2003.

Eventually the names will out. Baseball's dilemma is what to do about it. Bonds presents the biggest problem because he cheated his way to becoming the greatest homerun hitter of all time. If Bonds is banned and his record taken away the lifetime record reverts to Hank Aaron, a class guy who deserves to be number one. The problem is that Bonds single season record would revert to Mark McGwire or Sammy Sosa, both of whom are probably guilty as well.

Banning all steroids cheaters from baseball could be difficult. There are so many. But ignoring the scandal won't make it go away. The players who didn't cheat deserve to see the cheaters exposed and punished, and the fans deserve to know the extent of the corruption.

So, here's a modest proposal.

Let's give steroids cheaters a special place at the Hall of Fame. Don't add a Wing of Shame. Instead, designate the restrooms as memorials to the steroids era. Assign each shamed player to his own urinal or toilet, and imprint a picture of the player on the urinal or in the toilet bowl. For example, an A-Rod or Roger "The Rocket" Clemens urinal, or a Barry Bonds toilet. Visitors to the Hall could then leave an appropriate tribute to the baseball players who soiled America's national pasttime. And with so many players implicated in steroids, there would never be a line for the restrooms.


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